Jesus and Cornbread

an old, wonderful friend asked me indirectly this morning what makes my life beautiful. big question, and one I've never heard before.
most of those who read this would not know, but after high school i started singing. a very little bit. then, when i met jaron, he got me doing it more, and now i even get paid for it sometimes. it had always been a secret dream, but then i got to do it, and can you guess what? (i bet you can guess if you've met me...) i still didn't believe people wanted to hear it. completely illogical, but totally true.
and then I got put on voice rest by a doctor with a big, painful scope. some kind of acid thing in my vocal box, but i can't talk or sing indefinitely. so you can imagine how confused my self-perception became after that.
until yesterday, when someone reminded me that jesus trades report cards with me every time i can't or just don't do something i or he or anyone else thinks i should. and i took a deep breathe and exhaled all my frustration and tears and spent a little time tanning in the glory of that feeling of unworthiness in my chest being relieved.
and then i went home and baked, which is an excellent thing to do when you can't talk, and also makes your lover feel loved even though you can't tell him.
so, yes, i guess what makes life beautiful right now is jesus and cornbread.